oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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