My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
