therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
