So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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