Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize