I got chris browned last night
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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