He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
