I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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