How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
