please come you make the beer taste better
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
