he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize