I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
