nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
