Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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