the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
