looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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