no. you can't hotbox the world.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
