I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
