I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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