your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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