Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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