someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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