basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
