Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
