I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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