It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
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We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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