how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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