Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize