Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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