I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
