Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize