I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
