Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
