East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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