I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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