went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What a dumb baby whore.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
