where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
