put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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