I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
