..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Everything about him screamed your future.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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