They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
