No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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