So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
