he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
