omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
