yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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