my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
