We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
