about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
