my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
