No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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