its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD