I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.