I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
