Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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