i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
