Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize