Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
