why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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