Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
