Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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