So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize