My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
