I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
