They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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